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• September 3, 2008 12:33 PM
• Horoscopes

Star Struck: Scoping Out Your Cosmic Highlights in September

By Virgina Bell

VIRGO August 23 - September 22
You may know how to program a computer and speak Mandarin, but you're clueless about your love life. Take a tip from the Golden Retriever who recently nursed three tiger cubs left high and dry by their mum at a Kansas zoo. The full moon on the 15th brings new (yet different) people into your life. No one's asking you to lower your standards, but it wouldn't hurt to be a little less critical.

LIBRA September 23 - October 23
Aries is said to be the iron fist; but Libra is the iron fist in the velvet Lanvin glove. When macho Mars, in your sign, gets pushy with several planets (between the 7th and 12th) you're ready to take off the gloves, let your inner warrior out, and tell a few people off. It's about time. It's not only sexier and more fun; it's so much less exhausting to be yourself.

SCORPIO October 24 - November 21
One of the least attractive qualities of take-no-prisoners Scorpios is their penchant for eliminating people from their life. Don't be surprised when someone does the exact same thing to you on the 15th or 20th. Once romantic Venus enters Scorpio on the 23rd, you're ready to trade in those dysfunctional relationships for more evolved ones. Meanwhile, the karma will go down better with some fava beans and a little Chianti.

SAGITTARIUS November 22 - December 21
Both powerful Pluto and your ruler, audacious Jupiter, turn direct on the 7th showering you with professional and financial opportunities. Before you give your boss the finger, remember that Mercury goes retrograde on the 24th. Get your ducks in a row, check contracts and communications; then next month you can walk out with your dignity and your severance package in pocket. Touché.

CAPRICORN December 22 - January 19
Jupiter (in Capricorn) hobnobs with your ruler, Saturn, on the 8th giving your career and your popularity a big boost. Then why do you feel like Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? It's that upstart, Uranus, in your 3rd house of the mind that has you obsessing over new planets and vampire dogs. By the 22nd you're back in control. Until then, the only sane thing to do is fake it.

AQUARIUS January 20 - February 18
Aquarius is a brainy sign, so if you are bored you're simply not using your mind enough. With three planets in your visionary 9th house you need inspiration. The full moon on the 15th brings a financial windfall or an unexpected expense. If it's the former consider travel; if it's the latter, challenge yourself to learn a language or take up chess. Either way you won't need three espressos to get your fanny out of bed in the morning.

PISCES February 19 - March 20
Sometimes fishes need a crisis to bust them out of a rut. On the 12th rebel Uranus in Pisces challenges the sun; on the 15th it collides with the Pisces full moon. The effect can be jarring, but it also frees you to make some bold moves and new choices. Once the dust settles, you'll feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz off on an amazing adventure with some fabulous new friends.

ARIES March 21 - April 19
Thanks to the brilliant Jupiter/Saturn alignment on the 8th, a major venture you've been putting together takes off in a big way. Now it's time to shift gears and handle boring stuff like getting a check up or returning calls to the friends you've been neglecting. It may not be sexy or exciting, but neither is being wildly successful when you're alone, exhausted, and out of shape.

TAURUS April 20 - May 20
You've been dreaming about a creative project, and now you're ready to make it real. With those two titans Jupiter and Saturn working in your favor this month, you can actually pull it off. Make believe you're training for the Olympics and don't be seduced mid-month by your usual addictions; shopping, sweets, or sex. It really isn't "now or never;" you just need to act as if it is.

GEMINI May 21 - June 21
In mythology, your ruler, Mercury, was known as a clever trickster who could get away with anything. Some Geminis (like certain politicians) think they still can. If you've been up to any hanky-panky, it will surface the first week. Home with family is the safest place to be hiding out. Once the sun enters your playful 5th house on the 22nd you can re-enter the social scene. Until then, you're under house arrest.

CANCER June 22 - July 22
In spite of all therapy, some Cancers still feel they have to take care of everyone. It doesn't help that Pluto has been retro in your domestic 6th house. On the 8th Pluto turns direct and in November re-enters your 7th house of true love. It's time to stop playing mommy or daddy and get a grown-up (ie: REAL) relationship or start asking for what you need from your current squeeze. Either that or it's back to the couch.

LEO July 23 - August 22
In many indigenous cultures, when someone experiences a trauma, a shaman is called in to retrieve parts of their soul. August's eclipses may have turned your life upside down, but you don't need a medicine man right now. Getting really good at something and making a lot of bank will do the trick. As that sage Ayn Ryan said, "There's a certain Buddhist calm that comes from having money in the bank."

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