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• June 27, 2008 8:32 AM
• News

Safety First: Bulletproof Looks for D.C.!

By Gabriel Bell

Don't know if you heard the news, but your very own Supreme Court of the United States has legalized handgun sales and possession in the District of Columbia. Given the already high crime rate and D.C.'s long history of violence, this is what we call in the fashion industry a "bad idea." But who are we to second guess the judgement of the Justices? Given that we at The Pipeline have little to no political sway (yet), we've decided bend to the dictates of law and do what we can for the people of the District—compile a round up of the best in bulletproof fashion.

Now, we have to make a little disclaimer here: These looks aren't particularly wearable. If it wasn't for the fact that most of them could stop a .22 round, we wouldn't give them a second glance. That said, all are preferable to walking around with a 50-Cent-style SWAT vest or, more importantly, a hole in your sternum.

First off, Black Armor's Covert Denim Jacket ($800) combines rugged Marlboro-Man style with full front, back, and side ballistic protection. It's the perfect choice for the casual Friday bullet dodger. Next, Australia's Duram Products has a natty, Belstaff-looking all weather jacket that can stop the rain as easily as it stops rounds from an AK-47. In a similar vein, Spycatcher of Knightsbridge offers their Weatherproof Disguised Bullet/Stab-Proof Jacket ($1,779), a sharp number that will strike just the right note as you stand over the corpses of your would-be assassins.

If you're looking for an accessory that will truly save your hide, pick up Zahal's Bullet Proof Briefcase ($490), a thick shield disguised as a mere laptop case. Countermeasures beat computers any day. We don't like to think about it, but kids can catch a bullet as easily as anyone else. Thank goodness for Bullet Blocker's My Child's Pack ($175). Now little Georgie can walk home from school without fear.



For a more hip-hop look, you can always turn to the Defender Hoodie by Britan's Bladerunner ($865). The other skate rats won't mess with you when you put on one of these. Then again, you might want to go for the aristocratic rancher look. If so, Miguel Cabellero will have a lead-proof parka, riding jacket, or duster perfect for you.

Usually weddings are a time for celebration. But with every celebration, there's a chance of things getting out of hand. Next time, wear USA Body Armor's formal EnGarde Executive Vest ($865). Which would you rather be, Best Man or Last Man Standing? Spycatchers of Knightsbridge and Security Pro also offer executive waistcoats for the human target on the go.

Finally, also from Security Pro, comes a piece of armor no man should travel without—the Ballistic Groin Cup ($335). Let's face it, men of D.C., if you can't walk home at night knowing that Mr. Winky is safe, you should probably just move to Virginia.

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